Dear Blog,
So here is the beginning of it all.
Before the story begins, I first must acknowledge that my problem is of "the 1st world" and definitely a matter of the heart and mind.
However at this point, I don't really know where the heart is, or where the mind is. I think the heart is definitely in the right place, however, the mind is certainly wandering off everywhere else. However, we should be listening to the heart right? Because at the end we cannot deceive our heart. However, how mind can deceive us, and we may be fooled to believe that the mind is actually what our own heart is saying. In most cases this is wrong!
There are many types of relationships, there are the ones where we have a strong attachment to which has been formed over a number of years (in my case 13 years), and the love is so deeply engraved within, you are sometimes unaware of how much. In fact, this unawareness leads you to think that Love is actually not there. But in reality, it's just hidden away, tucked away under all the rubble of day to day mind activity. This deep love is the golden essence that holds you together.
Then there is the illusion love. The one with all the physical pleasures, the one which you have everything in common with, the one that you can spend hours on the phone with. Yes, it sounds perfect in fact, why aren't I there already? Aah! Here's the tricky part, because your heart can only belong to one person.
So what is real? The illusion created and craved by our mind, or the deeply engraved love built up over a number of years.
Overall, is it OK to be selfish? Or selfless? Especially when the illusionary world seems to be sparkling! So many desires and wants you can hardly contain yourself! However if you observe these illusionary thoughts and confuse it with what is truly in your heart, then the end result is pure suffering.
However, there are some of us, who are unfortunately cursed with an intuition. When this is the case, it is difficult to avoid the signals and signs the head is constantly telling you.
Then what's left for us to do is, control our mind and thoughts.
And this is where that journey begins.
To be continued...
